What if the video-rental returns for Repo! are now good enough to inspire a sequel, and I’m responsible for forcing Giles from Buffy to play the repo man for a second time? He probably needs the work, but he deserves better than this.”Īnger: “They’re not even trying to tie up the fucking stupid loose ends in their own fucking stupid movie! How could you allow this film to happen, God? A few sudden aneurysms on set probably would’ve halted production. What have I done? This is only encouraging Hollywood to make more gory, off-key musicals, which will cause aspiring filmmakers with actual interesting ideas to commit seppuku. Guilt: “I should never have rented this film.
If you get her off camera before she manages to sing or expose her ass in a tacky, revealing outfit, I swear to god I will give this piece of shit a five-star review.” And, for Christ’s sake, will someone please tell me that isn’t Paris Hilton?”īargaining: “OK, that was a funny idea for a cameo, having Hilton play a spoiled heiress to an organ-financing company. And all of this convoluted sci-fi back story is not just going to be revealed via crappy comic-book drawings. No studio would’ve approved something like that. Surely that can’t be a thing that exists, right?”ĭenial: “OK, but there’s no way they’ll keep singing these god-awful songs. Wait, that would mean this is actually an opera, about a man who repossesses transplanted organs, by the guy who directed Saws two through four. I guess they weren’t joking about the opera thing.
Initial shock and disbelief: “Whoa, they’re singing right from the get-go, and a lot of it’s just sing-talking like in elementary-school music class. The seven stages to coping with the fact that you’re watching Repo! The Genetic Opera:
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